The 5 Most Common Relationship Mistakes We All Made—And What To Do Instead

The-5-Most-Common-Relationship-Mistakes-We-All-Made

The relationship is behaviour on which scientific research has been done for decades. A relationship isn’t just a META status or a romantic movie; it’s much more complicated than that. Every relationship is unique, and there are many different reasons why people come together.

All relationships go through ups and downs and they desire to adapt and change with their partner. If there is a relationship then mistakes will happen and learning comes with making mistakes. However, many of us make the same mistake over and over again, resulting in complications, fights, and even breakups.

To break out of this cycle, here are the big five relationship mistakes we all must have made, but what to do instead:

Here are FIVE relationship mistakes we’ve all made

Trying to “Win” the argument

If there is love in the relationship, then there will be conflict too. There will be many of us who take an argument situation as a lawyer winning the lawsuit. You may have even won the argument, but unwittingly damaged the relationship.

We focus on showing each other wrong based on certain prejudices. However, winning an argument can lead to resentment or even toxicity in the relationship. Most importantly, “winning” doesn’t mean anything in love life.

What to do instead: Your goal is to understand your loved one’s point of view, not “win” the argument. Don’t mistake the disagreement as you versus; Instead, ask questions to better understand the approach. Bonus Tip: Whatever you say, say it politely and with respect.

Not setting partner boundaries

Usually, whenever we are in a relationship for the first time- we have little understanding of relationships. There is also less understanding of own and partner’s wants and needs, or what is “normal” and what is not. As a result, the first relationship then becomes the boundary for all upcoming relationships. This affects our relationships in the future, due to which we are not happy or repeat the same mistakes.

What to do instead: Boundaries are what can help you maintain a sense of identity and personal space. You’ll find boundaries in all kinds of relationships – you can’t see them, but they help you stay “YOU“. Your love life will be better when you know what you want in a relationship and set boundaries accordingly. Just as a side note:  Be prepared about the important things in your dates or relationship, and keep a list of non-negotiables (like a sense of humour, loyalty, and compassion).

Expecting-your-partner-to-be-everything

Separate financial decisions

Love can make a relationship between two people, but money also separates them. The source of the conflict is that saving, spending, debt, and investing are thought of differently. This is because of the financial value that parents instill in their children. Thereby two children from different families have different perspectives on finances. When they grow up, their habits lead to financial conflicts in romantic partnerships. They feel uncomfortable talking about their paycheck or payday loans despite entering into a long-term relationship.

What to do instead: This tension affects the partnership and can eventually lead to divorce if differences are not resolved constructively. It is very common to have different opinions about money in relationships. But often debates about money can lead to conflict, with 72% of people feeling stressed about money issues, according to the American Psychological Association.

That’s why set up a spending and savings plan that will allow for everything from ice cream cones to retirement. Review the plan, revisit progress regularly, and revise the goals as circumstances change. Whether you share a bank account or separate accounts, maintain constant communication about money as transparency establishes trust and alignment. If there is a financial emergency, do not panic, take help from the emergency fund. If you need even a little more than the corpus, then apply for guaranteed instant loans against your good credit score from a reputed lender in partnership.

Complaining about your partner to your friends

You watch movies like SEX IN THE CITY and find the same excitement and wildness in your partner. In your teenage years, you probably also had a vision in your adulthood that included unrealistic clothing budgets and daily brunches with the girls. All of this leads to one problem: Complaining. During work from home(WFH) in COVID, the problem of complaints increased even more. While it may feel good for a moment, constantly talking negatively about your companion is a toxin to your relationship.

What to do instead: Everyone complains about their partner from time to time. But how much is too much? If you find yourself constantly complaining about your relationship. You are probably looking for these 5 things in your relationship: connection, validation, attention, resolution, empowerment. For this, talk with your partner when something is not right and work on it before going out in front of your friends. Focus on fixing the problem at its core and build a better relationship instead of complaining to your friends.

Separate-financial-decisions

Expecting your partner(a human, not superman) to be everything

When it comes to relationships, there’s one magic word that gets a particularly bad rap: Expectations. Most people already have a long checklist in their search for a partner. We expect a partner to be our “best friend,” the support system, roommate, and who keeps the passion and spark on top of it all. The problem, however, is that at times, your expectations not matching your partner’s—or things that any average person can accomplish but not your spouse—will push you into an unrealistic domain. Let’s be real, if a person is to be everything you want, he will have neither time nor energy to live what he/she is.

What to do instead: You have to remember that your partner has some limitations too, who have different strengths and different weaknesses. Move forward with reality for a happy life with your partner. If you apply your checklist to yourself, you may not want to beat yourself up or break up with your partner. Also, build a community of people to suit your needs instead of relying on a single individual. Find a friend to work with whether it’s your mom, your best friend, or your therapist.

Selena